FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE REMAKE

Friday the 13th The Remake is a bland unnecessary film full of forgettable deaths and lackluster scares but with good cinematography.  If you want to get technical it is a remake of Friday the 13th parts 1, 2, and 3.  They show the mom getting killed at the beginning just like part 1.  Jason is human, wears a bag over his head for awhile and runs just like part 2.  And he gets the hockey mask just like part 3.  Oh, and horny teenagers get killed just like part ALL OF THEM!  Here's the problem. Nobody wants to see a slasher flick about your mom killing teens.  People want to see Jason with the hockey mask and that doesn't happen till part 3.  So what is the solution?  Answer.  You make a really bad movie that doesn't make any sense because you want to make a new Friday film that is different and yet pays homage to the original to show your "street cred", yo!

The Remake starts off with two local community actors (A young girl playing a counselor and an older woman playing Mrs. Vorhees) rehearsing a scene from the original Friday film. Its black and white and they are performing in the rain for dramatic effect I assume. From the bushes a third actor in boy Jason make-up is seen watching.  The mom goes on and on about the counselors screwing and letting her poor boy drowned in the yada, yada, yada. You heard all that before. The acting is bad.  Really bad.  Like you know this can't be part of the film bad.  You expect at any moment that you will hear the director call "cut" and everyone goes back to being themselves with a laugh or two. Instead the girl takes her machete and cuts off the mom's head.  As the blood spurts you realize that THIS IS THE FILM!  Couldn't they get better actors for that scene?  It feels like they just shot that scene as an after thought and couldn't get enough money to make it good.  Maybe they hadn't watched the original Friday film (like everybody else) until after they made the movie. Whoops.


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